As a mom, I know that one of the biggest desires of a parent for their child is for them to be happy. It seems simple, but we all know it is easier said than done. 

What is happiness? To our kids it might look like getting the toy they want or to play their favorite video game all day long. As adults we know that happiness is bigger than that. We want our kids to feel good about themselves, understand their choices, know how to handle their emotions, and be successful human beings. 

Here are 7 tips to raising happy kids.

1) Learn to Be Happy Yourself

It is easy to get lost in motherhood. The love of a mother is unlike anything else, and it can cause us to put our kids well before us. Sometimes this is needed. You wouldn't expect a new baby to wait for you to eat before you feed them in the middle of the night. When our kids come to us with a problem, sometimes it has to come before our own needs. It is important to show our kids they are important to us by being willing to drop what we are doing for them. 

But it is also important to fill up our own cup. If you never give to yourself, you don't have anything to give to your kids. You can be a better mom if you focus on doing some simple things for yourself each day.  Set an example for our kids. Think about how you want them to treat themselves, and treat yourself the same way. What do you love to do? Find some time to do it, even if it is only for 5 minutes. Find a time of day to get yourself grounded, journal, meditate, or whatever speaks to you. It doesn't have to be complicated or time consuming. Make yourself a priority, and it will help you be able to be there for your kids better. 

2) Focus on Gratitude

Gratitude is such a powerful, yet simple tool! When you are feeling down or discouraged, gratitude is always a good way to help you see that you have things to be grateful for. Gratitude is a powerful tool for kids too, and it is a valuable thing for them to learn while they are young. 

Gratitude helps train the brain to have more positive thoughts and to find the good in the world. Hard things happen, but if kids are aware of their thoughts and know how to train their brains to find the good in any situation, they will be happier and more successful in life. 

Practicing gratitude daily will help your kids better manage their thoughts and emotions, and create a better sense of well-being. Our Grateful Kids Gratitude Challenge is a great way to help your kids start practicing gratitude. Get it free below.

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3) More Free Playtime

Play has many benefits for children. Tools like meditation and mindfulness are valuable, but did you know that for kids, play accomplishes the same thing? Children are wired to play and use their imaginations. When we foster and encourage this innate need, we are helping our kids be happier. 

4) Positive Relationships

Everyone needs to feel loved and accepted. It is a basic need. When that need is filled at home, it makes a positive impact throughout a child's entire life. Kids who are loved and accepted as they are by their parents are more likely to love and accept themselves. They are also more likely to be happy and live a fulfilled life. 

Spending time together as a family is important. Eating dinner together as a family is a simple way to make this happen. 

5) Sense of Power

It is hard to feel powerless, and kids often feel like they don't have much control in their lives. This is often for good reason. Parents know best, and they want to keep their kids safe, so they create rules and boundaries to do so. This is good!  

Help your kids to find their power by giving them choices. Which shirt do they want to wear? Do they want waffles or oatmeal for breakfast? Do they think they would rather walk to school or get a ride? Give kids safe choices, and they will feel empowered and happier in their lives.

6) Positive Media Influences

As an adult, I have noticed how much the media I take in affects me. The things I watch, read, and listen to affect me deeply.  Media and technology is a big deal for our kids too! Everywhere they go they are given messages and ideas. All of these messages have an impact on our kids and their thoughts and emotions. It is important to make sure the media your child takes part in is clean, positive, and in moderation. Kids who have good boundaries with their media are happier.

7) Positive Self Worth

Summary: 

7 Tips for Raising Happy Kids: 

1. Learn to be happy yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Take care of yourself so you can give your child the love they need.
2. Focus on gratitude. Gratitude is a simple tool to help kids find the positive in their lives. Practicing gratitude daily will improve thoughts, emotions, and sense of well-being.
3. More free playtime. For kids, playing has a similar affect as meditation and grounding exercises do for adults. 
4. Positive relationships. Spend quality time with your kids. Family dinner is a great place to start.
5. Sense of power. Giving your child choices will help them feel a sense of power. 
6. Positive media influences. The things kids read, watch, and listen to affect how they feel. Rules and boundaries for media are important for kids to be happy. 
7. Positive self worth. It is important for kids to understand they are valuable. Helping them to understand their thoughts is a good first step. 

Having positive thoughts and thinking positively about themselves helps kids have a good sense of self worth and feel safe in the world. It will also help them lead fulfilling lives and have a brighter future. Thoughts are powerful, and the younger kids learn to have a positive mindset, the better chance they have to have a happy and fulfilling life now and in the future. 

Here are 7 tips for teaching kids positive thinking. 

1) Teach Them About Thoughts and How Their Brain Works

2) Be An Example

The very best way to teach kids is by example. They might not always be listening, but they are always watching you. Kids are likely to mimic your behavior whether you intentionally taught it to them or not. If you say negative things about yourself, your kids are going to say negative things about themselves. If you gossip, your kids will be more likely to gossip. 

You go first. Work on thinking positively yourself. Use the empowerment tools you are teaching your kids. Take care of yourself the way you want your kids to take care of themselves. Your example will teach your kids more than anything else you do. 

3) Be Encouraging and Positive

As a parent, you have a lot of power over how your child sees themselves and the world. The things you say to them make a difference. It is much easier to see the negative things they do and correct them than it is to notice the positive. Try being encouraging and pointing out the positive things they do that you want them to continue doing. Notice when they are doing something good. Positive reinforcement is much more effective than negative reinforcement. 

Some examples:

• I notice you are walking down the halls. Thanks for following the rules.
• You are focusing on that homework so well.
• I appreciate that you used your words.

4) Help Them Understand Their Emotions and How to Manage Them

There is such a wide range of the emotions you can feel, and sometimes that is confusing and overwhelming to kids. It is important that they understand that emotions aren't 'good' and 'bad'. It isn't bad to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. It is normal and healthy. There are emotions that feel positive and emotions that feel negative. We don't necessarily want to feel the negative emotions, but it is important to understand that it is okay to feel them, and to have some strategies for managing them in an appropriate way.

5) Give Them Freedom

We all want freedom. The freedom to choose is very important to our sense of safety in this world. Giving children the ability to choose as many things in their lives as possible will help them build a sense of self and worth. Try letting them choose even when it makes you cringe a little bit. Of course, there are times it is best to guide them away from choices that will hurt them.

Some things you can give your kids choices about:

• Their clothing
• What they eat
• How they do their hair
• Extracurricular activities
• How they use their free time
• Pursuing their interests and passions, even if they are different than what you want for them.
  
  

6) Encourage Them to Talk About the Good and the Bad Things That Happen Each Day

Sometimes kids will have one negative experience during their day, and only remember that. It is easy to let the negative overshadow the positive. Helping kids recognize the negative AND positive things that happen to them is very healthy. It is important that kids can see that even though they had something they see as 'bad' happen to them, some good things happened too.

A game we enjoy in our family is what we call "Peaches and Pits". At dinner time, we go around the table and everyone takes turns telling one "pit", or negative event followed by 2 "peaches", or positive events. It is important to highlight more positive events than negative. This helps our brains see the positive more easily.

7) Expose Them to Good Literature and Media

Have you ever heard the saying, "you are what you eat"? The same is true for the literature, media, and other things you expose yourself to. You are what you consume. Kids are especially vulnerable to the influences of the media around them. They are bombarded everyday by messages from TV shows, video games, the internet, and literature. It is very important that the things they are exposed to are good. Here are some guidelines we use in our house to decide if the media we consume is 'good'. 

• It has positive messages about family and education.
• Morals and values are taught.
• There is no unnecessary violence.
• It does not have swearing or other negative language.

Yes, this does eliminate a lot of things we could possibly consume, but it is worth it when we have positive and uplifting messages in our brains instead of unnecessary and damaging garbage.

Neuro.....what?!

Neuroplasticity is a huge word! It might be a little intimidating to say,  and you may wonder if you really want to teach your kids about it. I promise you do! It will make a big difference if your kids can understand this superpower our brains have.

The other day my 3 year old did not want to go to karate. He usually LOVES karate, so this was confusing! When I asked him why he didn't want to go, he said, "Because I don't know how to do karate." These feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy start young! In times like this, it's important to understand neuroplasticity and how our brains can change with repetition.

The Brain's Ability To Make New Connections

Neuroplasticity is your brain's ability to make new connections. Your brain is built with billions of neurons. Neurons are cells that transmit information to other neurons, muscle, and glands. As you perform certain things over and over again, you build neuropathways in your brain. The more you do the same thing, the easier it will become. Practice makes perfect (or at least progress)! When you do or think a new thing, your actions and thoughts activate neurons. Then, these neurons build a new pathway so it is easier for your brain to do and think the same things again. At first the pathway is small. The more you practice the new thing or think the new thought, the bigger and faster your path gets. The more you repeat the action or thought, the easier it is to perform it. 

Have you ever driven home from somewhere, and when you got home wondered how you got there? Do you have to think too hard about how to brush your teeth, get dressed, or ride a bike? You have done some of these things thousands of times. As a result, your brain knows exactly what to do, and you can do it on autopilot. These are examples of how neuroplasticity works. 

How Knowing About Neuroplasticity Can Help You Train Your Brain

Neuroplasticity is Like Building A Road

Physical Empowerment Tools

Physical empowerment tools are anything you do to empower yourself using your body. Some examples of physical empowerment tools are:

• Breathing exercises
  • Deep breathing is a simple and quick empowerment technique.
  • Deep breathing improves your cognitive function, improves your mood, and increases relaxation and/or helps you to relax and calm down. 
  • Our free resource library has a free printable on an awesome breathing technique called Four Square Breathing. Check it out!
• Exercise
  • This includes any kind of exercise. As long as you are exercising wisely, exercise is an empowerment tool. Exercise improves your overall health, has cardiovascular benefits, can improve your mood, and can help your brain and memory. 
  • Yoga would be included in both breathing and exercise.
• Sensory activities like swinging, jumping, pushing, compression, and tactile play
  • Using the senses in play is very powerful, and helpful for anyone.
  • Sensory play helps brain function, emotional regulation, problem solving skills, and much more. We will go into greater detail about sensory activities and senses in future blog posts. 
• Kinesthetics
  • Kinesthetics is moving your body in different ways to stimulate different parts of your mind.
  • It is a way to connect your brain and your body to help you function better.
  • Kinesthetics has been shown to help manage stress, improve decision making, improve organization, improve focus and concentration, improve reading, writing and memory, and help you feel better overall. 

Mental Empowerment Tools

Mental empowerment tools include anything you do to think positively, and anything that helps your brain work better. You will notice that all of the physical empowerment techniques listed above have mental benefits as well. All of the tools listed below include a physical element as well. 

• Pull The Weeds
  • Pull The Weeds is an empowerment tool taught in the Our Thoughts are Like Seeds Program. It is an activity that involves being aware of your thoughts and switching the negative ones to positive thoughts. 
• Journaling and writing
  • Writing has so many benefits.
  • Journaling can be used as a way to release negative emotions.
  • Writing with your hand (as opposed to typing) stimulates neurons in your brain.
  • New awareness of yourself and your thoughts can be achieved when you put pen to paper.
  • Writing can improve memory and overall brain function. 
• Affirmations
  • Affirmations are positive things we say to ourselves. If you have an affirmation, it is very beneficial to say it over and over.
  •  When your subconscious brain hears your say these positive things, it eventually starts to believe them.
  • Affirmations can be powerful and life changing. 
  • Check out this post for 25 positive affirmations for kids.

Our Thoughts are Like Seeds

When we think of a garden, the type of seed we plant determines the type of plant that grows. If we plant a flower seed, a flower will grow. When we plant a tomato seed, a tomato plant will grow. When we plant a weed, a weed will grow. We cannot plant a cucumber seed and expect a pumpkin to grow. It is just common sense. The same is true for thoughts. If we plant a positive thought we will get a positive result. If we plant a negative thought we will get a negative result.  

It is important for us to be intentional with our thoughts. We must intentionally plant good seeds in our garden. Plants don't spontaneously grow in a garden (only rarely does this happen). Only weeds do that. Weeds are nasty little things, and they can quickly take over an entire garden. They strangle the good plants growing.

Plants need to be cared for. They need to be watered and have the right amount of sunlight. Weeds can grow in any condition and anywhere without any care. 

The same is true for thoughts. We must intentionally plant positive thoughts. They do not usually just come up on their own. We don't have to work at all for the negative ones to pop up.  But we have to care for our positive thoughts. We need to nurture them and continue to help them grow. Negative thoughts require none of that, and if we don't nurture our positive thoughts, the negative ones will come and strangle the positive ones.

How can we have so thousands of negative thoughts and expect our results to be positive? We really can't. 

Thoughts Lead to Results

Our thoughts are very powerful. A thought is the first step to any action we take. When we have positive thoughts, our experiences are more positive. We feel better about ourselves and our capabilities, and it shows in the results we get in life.

There is a natural pattern from thought to result. A Thought leads to an emotion, which leads to an action, which leads to a result. Following are some examples of this. 

• The thought “I am ugly” could lead to an emotion of shame, which could lead to not talking to friends, which could lead to the result of being alone when you want to be with friends. 
• The thought “I am enough” could lead to an emotion of confidence, which could lead to introducing yourself to new people, which could lead to the result of having a lot of people who are your friends.  

Can you think of any examples from your own life? 

How Changing a Thought Can Change Our Experience

Summary: 

• Our thoughts are like seeds. Positive thoughts produce positive results just as a flower seed produces a flower. Negative thoughts produce negative results just as planting a weed seed will produce a weed. 
• A thought is the first step toward any result we get.
• We can change our experiences by changing our thoughts.

25 Positive Affirmations For Kids

1. I am enough
2. I love me
3. I can do hard things
4. I get better every time I try
5. My mistakes help me learn and grow
6. I can do it
7. I am loved by many people
8. I am trying my very best
9. I choose my attitude
10. My challenges help me grow
11. I am in charge of my own happiness
12. My best is good enough
13. My worth is set. Nothing I do or say can change my worth.
14. I will finish this in my own time
15. I am smart
16. I am amazing
17. I am beautiful
18. I am kind
19. I choose my destiny
20. I have a lot of love to share
21. I am a light to others
22. I make a difference in the world
23. Being me is great
24. I am a good friend
25. I am courageous and brave

Have your kids say some affirmations everyday, and tell us in the comments the results you are seeing! What results have seen yourself from using affirmations?

There are a few other businesses out there that focus on teaching kids empowerment tools.  What makes Our Kids Empowered different? There are 4 main things that make us unique: we make it simple, we give you options, we want YOU to be your child's main teacher, and we love to give you things for free. 

1) We Make it Simple

Parenting isn't simple. As a mom of 6 kids, I know this is true with all my heart! I am one to get big ambitions that aren't realistic and try to implement them. I have done this time and time again and it NEVER works! When I decided to start Our Kids Empowered, I knew it had to be simple. There is no other way for a busy parent. So I got to work brainstorming how it could be simple.

It Only Takes 5-10 Minutes Each Day

Your time is precious, and you have so many things to do. Cramming One. More. Thing. in doesn't sound fun. I know this feeling all too well. That's why I decided to make it possible to only spend 5-10 minutes per day. I know even  5-10 minutes seems like a lot on a consistent basis, but it's about priorities. Do you want your kids to have a positive mindset that will help them for the rest of their lives? Do you want your kids to have tools that will help them through hard times? Of course the answer is yes! Spending 5-10 minutes will be so worth it in the end. I promise. 

Little To No Preparation

Our lesson plans add another dimension of simple in the fact that there is little preparation involved. You don't have to know the lesson content before you teach it to your kids. All you have to do is make sure you have the items needed. Everything is usually included in the lesson plans, but every once in awhile you will need a simple item. Other than making sure you have everything you need on hand, all you have to do is open to the lesson and go. You can even read the lesson word for word if you want!

2) We Give You Options

I am an options person. Options are powerful, and it's always nice to know there is another way to do things if one way isn't working. When I decided to make our lesson plans simple and only 5-10 minutes/day, I got some feedback that some may prefer a more traditional style lesson plan. That is why I created 2 versions of each lesson: The Daily Version and the Full Version.

The Daily Version

The Daily Version contains lesson plans broken down into 5-10 minutes each day. This is a great option for us busy moms who aren't sure where to find the time. It does require consistency, but once you get a routine down, it's really easy and rewarding. This is also a great option because it gives a little bit of information each day, which is just what we need to create lasting change and learning. 

The Full Version 

 The Full Version takes one week of lesson plans and puts it into one lesson. These lessons usually take about 45 minutes. The Full Version is meant to given once/week to give your children time to process the information and practice the tools. If you have a set time each week to work on empowerment, this might be a great option for you.

3) We Want YOU To Be Your Child's Main Teacher

The idea of being your child's main teacher might be a scary thought for some of us. That's a lot of pressure! You don't have to be your child's ONLY teacher, but you are definitely his first and main teacher whether you know it or not. You are his main influence and example, and because of this you can be a very powerful teacher for him. 

It's important for you to learn and use the empowerment tools along with your child. As you learn along with him, you will grow as well. Since you are familiar with the tools and concepts, it will be easy for you to help guide him as he needs direction. I promise this will be life changing for you as well as your child. It is an amazing, incredible adventure!

4) We Love Giving You Things for FREE!

Our first goal isn't to sell you stuff. It is to help you make a difference for your child, your family, and yourself. We have a free resource library that we are always adding to! Here you will find free resources, printables, tips, and lesson plans to get you started and introduce you to some of our tools and concepts.